Bitchface

stay_siick @ 2007-11-05T14:31:00

2007-11-05T19:47:04Z

They were fixing our roof the other day. They put a tarp over the whole front of the house that i forgot about. It covered the window of the room i'm in now. I was getting kind of creeped out late at night because i'd hear cars go by but wouldn't see anything but darkness. frightening. and confusing. Since I wrote that some guy fell off my roof and broke a window. And then climbed back up and kept working the rest of the day. Jesus...

I'm sick of people who only want to feel pursued. fuck that. If you want to be "friends", or whatever you call it, you come to me. After a long enough period of time I don't care enough to call you, sorry.

I'm also sick of people who do coke. I feel like i'm always saying this, but its because it's true. I'm sick of spoiled self centered fucks. and rich kids. Coke seems to augment the whole self-centered thing. I'm really amazed at how self-absorbed SO MANY people are, honestly. Pull your heads out of your asses, you're not that fucking special.

Halloween was the other night. Had a party at the space and played a "show", if you wanna call it that. I think we played pretty well, but it was a little too loud for a lot of people in our little room and they had to keep stepping outside, which was a bit disheartening. got a lot of compliments after the fact though, so that made me feel better, haha. most people stayed til maybe around 3, but avery jill sean and i stayed til a little past 4 so i could sober up. avery, still drinking my vodka and sprite on the way home decided that the best thing in the world at that moment would be pancakes (flapjacks?) we all agreed (except jill but we kidnapped her) and we went on a mission to IHOP. closed. 50's diner, closed. south st. diner, closed. waited around for 15 minutes for this diner that opened at 5:30. went in, still in costume and had the best homefries and pumpkin pancakes on the planet.
lots of silly drunk words, most of which i've forgotten:
fluck? sparone? tender thong? kervumpfries...
pictures to come.

oh, and avery and i saw some red sox dude at el pelon... uhh dustin pedroia is it? he was sitting in his hummer while some chick picked up their drycleaning. exciting? no, not really, but some may think so. go sox? ersumthin...

i have had no motivation to create art lately. it makes me sad but not really. i am sad because i'm not painting and such, but the reason why makes it not so bad, i guess? i think i've been focusing a lot lately on music, and my whole visual art "thing" has kind of been put on the back burner... but it sucks, because thats something i've always been really good at. and i hate feeling like i'm wasting any sort of "talent" i may have... if you wanna call it that. i think where avery is so passionate about music, and we're together almost all the time, and thats sometthing we can do together. whereas, when i'm painting, its a very solitary activity. i made a lot more art when i was single and/or miserable. i've also been busy with work lately. got to get back on that.

went to salem, it was lame. the most exciting point of the night was when this girl we went with's drunkass sister started throwing a tantrum at her inches from my face while i was eating, after stealing avery's seat, and getting seemingly insulted when i warned her the food she tried to take from me without asking was gross because it was essentially garbage at this point.
so that wasn't good exciting so much as it was awkward and kind of a buzzkill, but it was still something? haha. got lost. what the fuck else is new. every year when we go there i am thoroughly disappointed. must remember to stay the fuck away.

oh and i lost my fuckin ID at Hell the other night... super...
Although I have to say it was probably worth it. Avery and I have both developed a new appreciation for Agent Orange after seeing them that night. Met this girl Buda in real life, haha. Myspace friends become *real* friends! hahaha. And then spent the rest of the night dancing with some hot girl whose last name is... JAGER! Yah, i'm pretty sure i'm in love. On top of that, $2 beers. even though i don't like beer, its just the principle of the thing.

So I wrote that I was feeling a bit uninspired lately. after i got high i started this i guess you could call it a painting, but its really just a whole bunch of different media that i'm not going to get into explaining it. at first i didnt like it, but its starting to grow on me. its different... for me. colorful.
i think i just have to make myself paint or draw. because once i actually do i just get completely submersed in it. its like anything else, the hardest part is geting started. i think i just get kind of discouraged and don't want to bother because i think i suck or something, but whatever. i like it.

Prior to painting, I was on a mission to find some weed (for some inspiration), as was Greg S., so we hung out for a bit and smoked which was cool because hadn't seen him in ages.

Avery and I ate at some vegan place in Allston. Got lots of dirty looks because we both walked in wearing our leather jackets. Oh fuck off, you big pussies.

Surfed yesterday with my dad. cold, but not as cold as i'd expected. my dad brought my brother's wetsuit instead of mine, so it was kind of baggy, which made things a bit colder, but still not too bad. was even able to hang out on the beach in just my bathingsuit getting not-tan for a bit afterwards without freezing my ass off. some 16 year old kids got in a fist fight. then one threw sand at the other. it was hilarious.

stay_siick @ 2007-10-15T22:27:00

2007-10-16T02:36:07Z

Danzig on the 25th! Agent Orange on the 26th....
X in November and possibly the Sonics in New York if work/financial situations for Avery and myself permit.
Halloween "show"/party at our practice space in B-Rockton on Halloweeener. I'm going to be ~~intoxicated to the point of coma~~ Catwoman.
New real job!!
Exciting things!
Worked today. Work again tomorrow. Experienced the BLUE SCREEN OF DEATH several times while working today. Felt like crying. Transcribing's gonna be a bitch. But I will be making mad money so all is well. Sort of. Maybe I'll finally be out of debt within the next 2 months or so. Ugh.

Insufficient funds = insufficient FUN

must buy new camera. and pants. and tattoo. and pay back avery, my dad, and my aunt. fuuuck... i am such a burden.

Halloween is my faaaavorite....
Any good haunted houses around?????

Also, I really enjoy the artistic stylings of Joel Peter Witkin. He takes pictures of dead people.

loofa.

2007-08-16T07:02:07Z

i'm really sick of people with fleeting interests. people who become obsessed with things.. or people... for a short period of time and then move onto something else. these people are usually they find a bit of themselves in whatever person, band, article of clothing or whatever else it is for the next two months. then they realize it's not all about them. they only become interested in these things because they're completely self-obsessed...they see themselves reflected in that person or thing. when they realize that this person or thing is not, in fact, a mirror image of themself... they move on. I hate everyone.
{I also hate that there is no gender neutral pronoun that isn't a plural. I hate saying "they" almost as much as I hate saying he/she. Do I really HATE it? Not really, it's just kind of annoying}

But I digress....
DOESN'T ANYONE ACTUALLY HAVE A PERSONALITY?????

I understand that people change, but it's like nobody is fucking real. Everyone is either a cliche, or a charicature, or a fucking hologram. Oooor they're just so self-righteous they don't even know what the fuck they're talking about anymore.

Drugs are stupid. I like to smoke weed. Even that's got kind of old. Lately I've been kind of a bum though and have been indulging in my vices more often than usual. Whatever.
I really think I'm kinda done with that whole "drug experimentation" phase though. Not that I was ever some big time drug user, but yah... I've decided that most people who think that being fucked up all the time is the greatest thing ever, I find really obnoxious. I still would do a line off a hooker's ass in Vegas though... but that is the only condition under which I would ever put cocaine into my body. It's such a gross drug and people who do it annoy me so much.
I don't know where that came from.

It makes me chuckle when I hear about people I don't like getting beaten up. Hah. Ha. Haha.

I'm really not this hateful of a person, but I'd rather use this to gripe about the things I don't like than to rave about the things that I do like, because I think thats even more annoying.

I showed up 20 MINUTES LATE for my job interview Tuesday. 20 MINUTES LATE. So bad. Fuck you orange line. I'm pretty sure I still got it though... so yah, sweet.

What the fuck have I done lately. Nothing particularly exciting. Hanging out in the basement making music with Avery, per usual. Jamming with Kasey when he's not working. Shopped with Jill and Rich. Bought a sick polka dot dress for 12 bucks at this store on newbury street that also sold a $998.99 bra and panty set from the sixties. Fucking whaat?
Watched some fuckin sweet NINJA WARRIOR and To Catch A Predator (aka the most entertaining shows on televesion besides South Park) with Christine Rich and J-Raff. Were part of what appeared to be a sketchy wagon train of pot-buyers. Blah blah blah weed laughter stupidity and television.

Stayed at Avery's the other night. It's pretty cool how they do construction on the building at SEVEN IN THE FUCKING MORNING. For the past year. SWEET.

Dear Malcom X, please don't make me hate myself for being white. Your autobiography is too damn good and you convince my bored, vulnerable little mind of so much. Get out of my brain.

I leave you with this:

harharharharhar.

meep

2007-07-31T18:47:45Z

they're kind of cute in a retard sort of way though. i guess. avery keeps calling me bif naked. he needs to shut the fuck up. ha.

my car shit the bed two days ago right in the middle of the street in boston. sweet. 54 bucks for a tow. sonofabitch.

grouphug.us is basically the best website ever.

gay clubbing on friday? i sure hope so.

I quit the Masspirg job before it even began, 4 hour shifts at 8.50 an hour? no thanks, I work because I need money. The court reporting agency I had an interview at like...3 months ago... finally called me back last week. I have another interview with them on Tuesday and I really REALLY hope they hire me because I need this job so bad.
I owe my dad so much money, need to make a $400 insurance payment for my car or I get cancelled by the end of the month, and I also owe Avery 54 bucks for the tow. We also need a practice space because playing in my garage isn't really working out as well as we'd hoped.

also, i've found my secret hidden talent. and it is.... drum roll.....

crushing beer cans on my head.
or soda cans too i guess.
too bad i don't really drink either.

stay_siick @ 2007-07-26T02:29:00

2007-07-26T06:40:22Z

So apparently the cool thing to do when you're.. what,23-years-old? is prank call people from a blocked number pretending to be their boyfriend. (Because obviously my boyfriend sounds like an alcoholic with a Boston accent??)
Or it's the cool thing to do if you're a white trash faggot with a head shaped like a dented potato. That's what happens when you fry your brain with coke and heroin or whatever the fuck those people are doing now, I don't really care. Go chew on some rat poison, I'm sure it'll get you into a nice dreamy "nod".

So maybe you're reading this...I wouldn't be surprised because apparently you still care about what I'm doing with my life. I've had nothing to do with any of you for years. Maybe you can't help it, because of the holes you've put in your brain... But really, grow up.

stay_siick @ 2007-07-23T02:12:00

2007-07-23T06:37:05Z

I am in a bad mood.
And I need to stop being such a fucking baby.
I also need to stop going to bed at 5 in the morning every night for NO REASON.

Aaaaanyway...

Think happy thoughts.....

Things to look forward to:
Job (=having money)
GAY CLUBBING!
Capture the Flag
Actually playing shows once we get a few more original songs together
More new (old) abandoned potentially haunted places to explore
....Halloween is in like 3 months???? (yah, thats a bit of a stretch)

There. I feel a little bit better already. Bless you, livejournal.

Aw fuck. I just remembered my pink satin robe is covered in black fucking ink. Now I'm pissed again!!!

My revival of my livejournal has also brought about the return of a weird vice of mine: Reading those "pro anorexia" girls' journals. They're so fucking weird!

They basically read like this:

Breakfast: nothing
Snack: 2 tic tacs and some ice cubes
Lunch: nothing
Snack: 3 grapes
Dinner: pizza

Current weight: 140 Lowest weight: 112 Goal weight: 60 lbs.

I'm not even kidding. 60 pounds. Sweet. Good luck with that. I feel like a lot of these girls are "anorexic posers"....or poseurs, whatever....for lack of a better term. It would be kind of sad if they were really starving themselves because of some deep seated emotional issues, but it all seems like dumb little angsty teenagers who want to have "problems" You're not even actually anorexic yet! Come back to me when I can count your vertebrae and see light pass through you.
Indulge: proanorexia

On a completely unrelated note, sometimes I think that I'm dead??? I'm not really going anywhere with that one now. I just feel that way sometimes in a totally non- "annoying-pseudo-depressed-gothic-macabre-obsessed" kind of way. More like the sixth sense?...but the anti-climatic version. It's basically: "Oh my god am I dead???? ...oh, wait, no, I'm just tired." Ok, guess I did elaborate. Shut the fuck up.

I also don't like the word prerequesite. Because I never say it. And then when I actually do have to say it every 5 years or so I can't pronounce it and I sound like an idiot and I have to think about it for like 20 minutes. And then I write some dumb little paragraph about it on here instead of sleeping. Which is what I'm going to to do, right now.

Skin mittens

2007-07-20T18:06:05Z

I've been drinking a lot of red wine lately. Gee I'm so Dionysian.....

Sean and Christine came over the other night and got high with me Avery and my brother in the driveway in my car. Played foosball, and then played Chubby Bunny. Chubby Bunny is when you put as many marshmellows as you can in you mouth and say "chubby bunny" without choking. It's basically my favorite game ever. Note to self, stop smoking so much weed. Except I don't, it only feels like I do because I don't that much anymore. I'm so good at making sense it's frightening.

The night before Sean, Kasey, and Jill came over and I drank red wine while eating cheese and crackers and watching SpongeBob Squarepants... because I am such a classy fuck.

Jerb interview yesterday. It's a call center type thing where I call up members of MASSPRIG and ask for donations to help save the earf. I'm such a gross nasty hippie. Not really. I need a "real job" but I really need something immediate... so MASSPIRG it is. After I went to the mall (..what?) with Jill, and bought the most amaaaazing pair of gold leggings. They're ridiculous. I love them. And this gold umm...top? thing? Yah. Reasons to stay skinny. I can't wait to wear them to the gay club. Ummm Rich Andrea and Corey stopped by last night. Smoked, watched Victoria Beckham???, talked about skin mittens, smoked more.

Ninja Warrior is the best show EVER.

I miss my digital camera like a friend that moved really far away. Frowny face.

I'm pretty sure I want to be a dominatrix. How sick would that be??

blast from the past.. and new stuff too.

2007-07-16T07:25:28Z

I went to write an entry and it said "restore from saved draft?" and I said "Sure why the fuck not"... or something to that effect... and this is what came up. Seeing as Avery's birthday is in August, and it is now July, this means that this is nearly a year old. Oh dear.
Anyway:

"So basically. I havent written anything in forever. Actually doing stuff and writing about stuff seem to be mutually exclusive...although looking back it really doesn't feel like I've done that much.

Last week Avery Jill Marin Suzanne and this German kid, Fabian, who was staying with Suzanne got drunk on champagne and bacardi in tea cups at Averys.... According to Fabian I am "like a German man"...probably because I say "fuck" a lot... and he stole ALL OF Averys granola bars...Feared for Marin's life due to drunken railing sitting at 26 stories up and her and Suzanne went off to school the next day and the day after that.

Averys birthday was Saturday so I finally got to give him those Cramps albums, along with lots of chocolate, a soap dish, a modern lovers CD, "The Misfits" with Marilyn Monroe, a steak dinner...as well as things that money cannot buy...well unless you're into that shit.

My moms birthday the day after that and my dads was yesterday. Which prety much leaves me kinda broke.

Surfing with my dad Monday after getting my tooth drilled. My face was numb for over 5 hours and I bit a hole in my cheek. It was cold and the waves sucked but having a wetsuit and BOOTIES is pretty awesome and I hope we actually will be able to keep going until Thanksgiving, but we'll see.

Lots of bullshit on Tuesday, ended up working for a mere 4 hours ...closing no less, and being generally pissed off....Then smoked with Jill and Erin.

I've kind of been trying to play guitar lately, though its a lot harder to get used to than bass...which is why bass is for people who can't play guitar...hahah....Going to stick to bass but it would be nice to "dabble" in guitar.

Aaand I decided last week that I actually AM going to go to art school sometime (hopefully) in the not-so-distant future. I'm thinking about looking into the Art Institute, and should probably start getting myself a portfolio type thing together. Yah, uhhh, we'll see what happens with that though.

Avery and I hung out with Jon a wee bit last night since he left for Spain today for the next 4 months or so.
Everyone is going, going or gone.

Got fucked up at Rob's last night with him Avery Allison and Sarah. Random sobriety checkpoints and really REALLY scary."

So yah, not really all that interesting, which is probably why I forgot about it in the first place.... but it's funny comparing all those things to the way things are now. What changes in a year, shit. I was actually teaching my brother some shit on guitar today... and I haven't seen Jon since... jesus, has it been since then? And he's since moved to Morocco and became a shepard? And I also am still completely undecided if I ever want to go to art school. I'd like to, but at the same time I feel like I'd just be wasting my money and surrounding myself with rich douchebags. Things...change. Even though it doesn't really feel like it sometimes.

Other (semi)interesting points in my life as of late... or at least within the past several months because thats all I can remember, hence why I try to write shit down:

16 hour road trip in the snow to Washington DC back in March for an antiwar protest at the Pentagon with Avery Christine and Jill. Finally arrived at an unheated, uninsulated 12x12 foot cabin in 26 degree weather. Never have I slept somewhere where I could see my breath. Having drool on my blanket actually FREEZE was a first too. Only at the protest for about 2 1/2 hours because it was so damn cold. Carried some guy's giant sign, got called commies by anti-anti-war protestors. Turned around and went home. Fuck, that was a while ago, but definitely worth mentioning.

A French man followed me around Boston telling me to come to Paris with him? Yah that was weird.

Saw Dick Dale play AGAIN back in May. He's still amazing. Creepy fat blonde sweaty man next to me almost ruined it, but not quite. Met Dick Dale after the show again and he gave me a kiss... again. And it was still awesome. And he gave Avery guitar tips. And he likes me and Christine's ribs.

Went to Texas and stayed with Avery's family... which is fun but extremely awkward because he hates his mother-
Went to a whatever-a-billy show at Emo's which was fun... some stoned girl thought I was a narc?
Avery, his little brother and I went to Six Flags in San Antonio and went on rollercoasters til the point where we probably could have puked... And I had the spins all night.
Went to an awesome swimming hole with a waterfall, a rainbow, and a rope swing. Saw an all-white horse and her all-white baby horse running through the trees as we were leaving and the sun was setting and I could have sworn they were unicorns. It was magical.
Got my monroe pierced on 6th street around 1 in the morning. Was still too young by about 3 weeks to go to any bars, which was kind of a bummer, but whatever, it's almost to hot to drink there anyway.
Avery's dad introduced us to this stuff called miracle fruit.. which is basically a berry you suck on for like 5 minutes, spit the seed out and then eat crap that you would normally put sugar on. You don't need to because it tricks your taste buds into thinking that what you're eating is sweet? Ate an entire lemon and didn't think anything of it until my mouth started to hurt.
He also found what we're pretty sure is a fossil of some kind of plant, like a palm or something, it was definitely an imprint of something in a rock though, and not cement.
Uhhh... lots and lots of deer, went swimming in the lake pretty much every day and spent the remainder of our time eating an obscene amount of Mexican food and getting not-tan.

Went to the cape with my family and Avery. Not really too exciting this year. The weather wasn't that great. Went surfing a few times... but the waves weren't too spectacular either. Two seals came within twenty feet of me while I was in the water. Intense. Avery and I went on a little adventure during a massive storm though, which was delightful.

Turned 21. Had a party at my house. The faucet broke off when Corey threw Cassie in the kitchen sink. Turned into an extremely entertaining water canon.... but proved to be a huge pain in the ass when trying to come up with a retarded story to tell my parents as to why it broke. Rolled up the rug so it wouldnt get dirty... then turned it around the wrong way which really confused my mother. Jill baked me a delicious cake, which managed to inevitably spawn the dirty sanchez chocolate cake fight. A cabinet handle broke off... And three people puked. A fun night. The night before that Avery took me out to a drag show at Jaques', the gay bar around Back Bay. If you have a chance, go, because it was so much fun. Where else could you possibly see a 300 lb, 8 foot tall drag queen version of Patti LaBelle dance like a motherfucker, then jump 5 feet in the air and land in a perfect split? Yah, it was an experience. Got really drunk there, went to Little Stevie's for some late night pizza, made a stop at another bar for some Jager shots, made yet another stop at The Mission, realized we kind of hated everyone there so we left, and continued our journey back to Avery's. Mapquested our route the next day and discovered we walked just under 4 miles... Glad I wore my fuckin flats. Avery gave me the Cabinet of Dr. Caligari, and the "Love God and Murder" Johnny Cash box set. Also got some money and (a couple winning) scratch tickets from relatives, a nostalgic bottle of Raspberry Stoli from Michaela, colored pencils and a sketchbook from Christine, and my parents paid for my brake job on my car.

Planning my parents 25th wedding anniversary party for September. It's become ridiculously stressful because it's a suprise party... at least to my mom. I don't even want to think about it.

Went on my second ever paid court reporting job last Tuesday. It was horrible and I went out to my car during lunch and cried. Had to swear in the witness, which I completely forgot how to do, then my machine was fucked up and the lawyer I was working for was a total cunt. The depo itself was interesting enough though. The witness was a 40-something-year-old divorcee who liked to smell dog's feet and was citing the fact that her husband liked to fuck horses as her reason for why they should settle in her favor. An interesting day.

Just started reading the Koran this past week... along with "The Complete Idiots Guide to the Koran"... which, obviously, makes me feel like an idiot. But it provides some useful insights and details that I might have otherwise missed. I like religion, from an philosophical point of view. Totally not trying to sound like a smarmy asshole, by the way. I feel like the word "philosophical" is really pretentious. So is the word "pretentious", sort of. And going like this "".

Everyone in the world became a cokehead or a junkie...but is that really news? I'm ashamed at the fact that I used to be associated with certain people who are now just ridiculous.

I've also decided that I really don't want to give up on the idea of being a tattoo artist. I've been drawing like a mother lately trying to get some shit together but I don't really want to get my hopes up too too much. I know it's generally pretty tough to get an apprenticeship set up but fuuuck I wanna do that so bad.

Avery and I have been jamming in my garage with Kasey lately. Who is a fucking amazing drummer, by the way. Things are going quite well and I'm pretty excited.

Went to the Foxboro State Mental Hospital again a few nights ago with Avery Jill and Nelson. Lost my brakes on the way there on Route 1, which was wicked fucking scary. Was it the ghosts telling us to stay away? Who knows... Went there anyway after getting pathetically lost and ended up running out when we caught sight of some guard there...which is extra intense when you're high.

In the process of organizing a giant game of capture the flag throughout the streets of Boston and Cambridge with hopefully about 50 or so people? It's going to be epic.

I want to relocate my clothes and build a darkroom in my closet... or my treehouse.

My bowl's name is now Harry Belafonte.

Watched the Cabinet of Dr. Caligari the other night, which was amazing. Then immediately after, saw "Female Trouble" in it's entirety for the first time ever. I think I'm in love.

That's all for now, folks.

stay_siick @ 2006-08-21T02:23:00

2006-08-21T21:04:51Z

When did every former "spikey-haired-drunk-punk" suddenly turn into Nikki Sixx? At least fashion-wise...not so much OD'ing-and-returing-from-the-dead-only-to-go-shoot-more-smack--wise. Maybe that comes later?

Customers at work drive me insane. There should be just one day a year that you're allowed to punch somebody who gives you shit square in the nose. And when they go to the boss, the boss will say: "my god that is totally unacceptable! this employee will be promptly terminat...oh dear, i'm very sorry, what day is it? tuesday the 23rd? yes well today happens to be 'punch a random dick in the face day' so theres really nothing i can do, would you care to look at another phone?"

After having people screaming in my face all day i
ran out the door promptly at 6 o'clock I left my phone behind in the process, which sucked, because I had to go into work today to get it. But I got Avery a CD and myself a book in the process. (Vice Magazine's Fashion Do's and Don'ts. Effing hilarious)

Lovely lightning show last night.

I need to stop obsessing over dead people and anorexics.

Need batteries for camera. Must. take. pictures.

This weeks obsession? (with the exception of the deceased and lollipop heads of course)...Joy Division.....i <3.

I've had the hiccups for about an hour now. This is driving me fucking crazy.

Shortly after "seeing The Ring"...but shortly before my EXTREME MAKEOVER.

stay_siick @ 2006-08-20T09:34:00

2006-08-20T13:45:51Z

Help I'm stuck.

Today its rainy and gray. And sleepy and sneezy. And I have to be at work in 45 minutes.

Last night was X + Rollins. And Henry Rollins still pretty much looks like a really buff version of Averys dad. On PCP. I felt like I already knew him.

Bong hits, salvia and baby cigarettes.

Me and Avery need to seriously get our shit together and write some songs and find a motherfucking drummer. Do I say that every day? I think so.

...buck you in the futthole.

stay_siick @ 2006-08-19T02:12:00

2006-08-19T06:17:40Z

Mad Maggies is apparently no longer, but is now the much classier "Vegas Lounge"...Ghey.

Finished birfday shopping for Avery and got muhself some shit I don't need at Savers. Tacky awesome leopard sweater. And I bought a giant striped bag for 2 dollars.

I'm so motherfuckingtrendy (it hurts).

Ram-a-da.

X + Rollins Band tomorrow.
What a strange combination.

-----

2006-08-15T05:55:54Z

Pink strawberry flavored rolling papers. Which means pink strawberry flavored joints. Jon's cat is very matter of fact. It doesn't meow, it says "Meow."...theres a difference. It also impatiently waits its turn in the bathroom.
Bought a Television CD. Marquee Moon, I haven't heard it since I stopped working at Newbury Comics. Which was quite some time ago. Although it may have been longer than that. Who really knows for sure.

I talk so much. Especially when I'm stoned. I seriously need to just shut the fuck up.

People never cease to disappoint me. Really.

holy harry belafante!

2006-08-13T06:01:47Z

Last night:
red wine rooftop-drinking with Avery and CJ. broken corkscrew. black lips from wine. 2 am little stevies. loud italians, coke sluts, renovations. rod stewart bass thumpin. sad angry shirtless drunk men. avery's place, peach andre.
"Just because I got a mohawk doesn't mean I smoke weed!"..."Yes I know, but its green"

Today: Decordova museum with the fam.

I really want to buy myself a blowtorch and get into metal sculpture. Like a motherfucker.

We really need to work on that whole drummer thing.

shake shake shake senora...

2006-08-11T18:13:45Z

Wednesday night the moon was bigger, brighter, and redder than ever seen it in my life.
Out on Avery's balcony, painting, by myself, listening to the Velvet Underground. Brought my paints inside cos it was getting dark. Came back out and I saw this giant RED dome on the horizon. How odd, I thought, that I've never noticed that glowing monstrosity before...Is it some sort of arena? Why is it red like that? And then it moved up. And up and up and up. And turned from red to orange to yellow and finally to white. With the lights in the city twinkling and planes taking off in the distance, and bats flying down below me, I have never felt more connected to the world than I did at that moment. How ironic, considering I could not have been more isolated. A quiet observer, dancing by myself, 26 stories in the air. Beautiful. Words cannot describe.
I tried to take a picture but it couldn't possibly do it justice.

I think, I'm pretty sure..to feel the way I feel on a fairly regular basis most people would have to be on drugs. I realized this walking through the woods the other day with Avery, realizing that I was probably more introspective and aware of my surroundings than I would have been if I was on something. I guess I'm kind of lucky in a way... Though I feel like I can be a lot more spaced out than the average bear.

Avery and I hung out with Marin and Suzanne for the first time in forever last night. I'm uber jealous of Marin's month long excursion through the wilderness, it sounded amazing.

Mambas are delicious.

we're connected by the moon, looking at the moon

2006-08-09T18:24:03Z

My brother put 50 pounds of muffins in the plastic trash barrel out back and some animal gnawed its way through to get to them. My dad was all pissed, and thinking it was me, came up to me all angry saying nothing but: "200 pounds of muffins???!" ...umm excuse me?... "200 pounds of muffins!!!" and leads me outside and just points...Nope, sorry dude, wasn't me this time. Haha. My dads funny when hes mad, as long as hes only kind of pissed off.

Umm Avery saw Gary Newman at Guitar Center the other day. Here in my car...blah blah blah blah...Its funny because even Gary Newman hates techno, though he is often credited as being its creator. I'm pretty sure that says something about how bullshit techno is... not that it it needed to be said in the first place, it kind of speaks for itself. ...Thump thump thump thump...

I have been the biggest consumer lately. This needs to stop. Not like I ever buy myself shit though. Seriously, I'm so cheap. But I've been I often wonder if my on-again off-again e-bay addiction is a result of me just liking to get things in the mail. Things that aren't bills. Or maybe I just like getting shit, but hate shopping. Who knows.

=sex

Oh, and if anyone has an x-box they should definitely buy that new zombie game and invite me over to play it. I never play video games, but I do have a recurring zombie-slaying dream so that would be pretty SUITE.

On a side note... I can't decide what pisses me off more, when something really stupid looking thing is fashionable (think sasquatch boots) or when shit I've actually always liked is fashionable...big belts and tight pants? Maybe I just like to bitch about everything. Either way it'll be over in 6 months anyway.

Everything is so redundant. I feel like I'm constantly being bombarded with the same jokes, innuendos, seemingly profound ideas etc etc etc that I've heard anytime from hours to years ago..but just slightly polished, re-worded and re-vamped. Not so much from people I interact with, although that does happen often enough. I notice it mostly in movies and television shows. Commercial pop music kind of goes without saying. I do have a somewhat exceptional memory..as far as long term is concerned, don't ask me what I ate for breakfast this morning..And it could just be I'm the only one who catches on to these things, because I remember stupid shit that won't do me any goos except it makes me mad and I wonder if theres some greater meaning to the seemingly meaningless information I retain. I wonder if mankind will live long enough to see eveyrthing thats ever happened repeat itself, or if civilization will just implode before then. I'm gonna go with the latter. Maybe thats another sign of the apocalypse..lost eons ago in translation.... And there are actually FIVE horsemen of the apocalypse... War, Famine, Pestilence, Death, and Redundance. Maybe things have always been the way they are now, and I just hadn't lived long enough to notice a pattern developing. Those who forget the past are doomed to repeat it.
Oh 20, such a state of limbo.

I watched Big Top Pee Wee for the first time in like 10 years the other night. High out of my mind. Word.

Having kids must make people feel like god...or at least half a god. Lo, I have created man! Maybe thats why so many parents are so fucked up. Ego trip followed by disappointment? I don't want kids, I'm too selfish, so I'll just create art.

I'm really glad I get along with my parents now. We used to fight so much when I was a teenager, its nice.

My neighbor thinks he's David Hasselhoff

"Buddy the Elf, Whats your favorite color?"

2006-08-08T17:37:26Z

I am really sick of people who can't...or choose not to...take responsibility for their actions.
Blaming your problems on other people is such bullshit.

Surfed yesterday. The waves sucked, but looked better down the beach. Went down a ways and realized why there was nobody down there. Worst seaweed I have ever seen in my life. The seaweed to water ratio was probably about 3 :1. And as I found out several minutes later, this particular seaweed had thousands of little earwig looking creatures living it, who like to latch onto your skin and BITE. Ever see that scene in Stand By Me with the leeches? Yah, it was like that.

Avery is an evil chipmunk and needs to find those crayon drawings from his old apartment.

I've been smoking too much weed lately.

Creaky doors are always creepy.

I want to start speaking only in haikus and limmericks.
I also think that when I meet people I'll ask them right away what their favorite song is...So I can establish what their personality is like and to move the conversation in the right direction.... and also because I'm really sick of "Where do you work?" or worse "Where do you go to school/Whats your major?" I hate how when I tell people I don't go to school they say "Why?"...How bout just to piss you off, thats why.

remind me to remember that we have to be precautious...

2006-08-07T02:55:29Z

So I'm back from New York...and have been for the past 6 days, but I'm lazy. Was definitely more or less awesome. Certainly an interesting place.

Although just getting there was a bit of a process. Considering that about 2 minutes after we left my house my license BLEW OUT THE CAR WINDOW. Normally, that sucks a lot...but this was made extra sucky by the fact that I needed it just to get on the bus, and to get into the show. Looked around for it for about 15 minutes til we just gave up...Then 5 minutes later I found it in the back seat behind Avery's guitar case. Yah, I'm fucking retarded....I'm pretty sure it blew out the window and then back in.. I'm so lucky when it comes to having really bad luck.

We actually got there on time, even though we'd missed the train, which is kind of a first for us. Punctuality is not our strong suit. Was looking for my license in line and everyone walked past me while I was trying to find it. I told Avery to get on the bus and save me a seat. Found my ID, walked over and they shut the door. Asked the bitch at the door if it was full. Asked about 5 or 6 times til she told me that it was. Told her my boyfriend was on the bus and I had to get him, and the only response ellicted for about 5 minutes was "Ok" Had to shove past the Fung Wah people to get out to the platform to get Avery. Then they still wouldn't let me on the bus, so I started yelling to Avery to get off. He couldnt hear me and the it was really crowded so he couldnt tell if I was on it or not, so I pushed my way on to get him. Made a big scene, looked like a psychotic bitch...But sure as fuck wasn't spending a 5 hour bus ride without him. Caught the next bus 15 minutes later but was still bullshit.

(avery looks like a zombie that has to sneeze)

...met up with Jon, got Vietnamese food.
Went to his friend's apartment in the Bronx where we spent the night. Had a few beers at some bar alongside some overly aggressive kids who were waay too into Hatebreed. Smoked a bunch. Its funny because I counted on being drunk the entire time I was there and that was the only night we even drank. But it was so motherfucking hot.

I just realized that I kind of love this picture.

me + trump tower

Saturday we went to Coney Island.

(Me Avery and Johnny Thunders on the train)

Its busy, nostalgic, trashy, eccentric, a bit depressing, and smells quite a bit like vomit and urine... and I definitely think everyone should go there at least once.

Went on the scariest ferris wheel ever, a roller coaster that felt like it was going to fall apart, and went to the Freak Show.
You pay an extra dollar to see "The Coney Island Mummy" which supposedly is the body of this guy who in the 50's was involved with the mob, got "whacked" and they decided that instead of dumping the body, they'd embalm it and wrap it up, and they put it in the Coney Island haunted house ride, where it remained for about 50 years with hundreds of thousands of people riding by it thinking it was just part of the ride....

(no photography allowed, which means no flash...)

I'm not sure if it was true or not, but it made for a good story, and New York is a city full of swindlers...from the Coney Island freak show, to the bag lady in Central Park trying to sell us postcards, to the yuppie fucks at FAO Schwartz selling their $6 ice cream....so what do you expect....

Sunday...hung around the Village St Marks, and Washington Square Park. Lost looking guys with surfboards walking through the park, man with GIANT sombrero...among other strange sights and smells. Had some photographer try to recreate that picture of me and Avery by the fountain from 2 years ago that I lost. Its funny because I look gross in both of them, so I guess it worked?

Bought a glasspiece and some salvia. Was going to get my industrial done, but remembered that the last thing I needed to do was spend 50 more dollars, especially for a hole in my head. Yay for controlling my impulses. The guy at Trash & Vaudeville coule be Iggy Pop's brother.
Saw the Adolescents play at CBGB.

Some junkie chick and a girl and her boyfriend got in a fight outside CBGB, which was quite entertaining. While Avery went over and tried to break it up, I rummaged through my purse looking for my camera. I'm pretty sure that says quite a bit about our personalities...or something. Saw some chick from Boston there...crazy...big city, small world. Especially since the day before I saw the couple that sat in front of us on the bus at some random subway station in another part of town. Got kind of lost on the way back and took a cab for like, the third time in my life.

We spent Monday sitting around Central Park not doing much, exhausted from the 95 degree and walking for virtually 96 hours. Came across a little kid carnival in the middle of the park, which was a bit of a trip.

Went to FAO Schwartz to pee and then walked around there for an hour, because its air conditioned/whimsical?

(Lego Chewbacca's my boy)

the rest can be found here: http://s34.photobucket.com/albums/d136/ElvisFuckingChrist/?sc=5

Its kind of weird finding out that someone who's been more or less your best friend for about a decade, who you were assuming still lived across the street from you, has actually been living 500 miles away from you for the past week and half, and will remain there for an indefinite amount of time. Knowing stuff is awesome...

Designed a tattoo for Danielle. I'm flattered that a friend of mine would have something that I drew permanently etched into their body.

I've been kind of a drawing rampage lately, it's all I do.

Jammed with Sean yesterday...

Slept at Averys last night after bong hits and general awesomeness. But Avery waking up at 7:45 in the morning when I dont have to is never a good thing.

Today consisted mostly of hanging around Southie and getting high with Sarah Michaela her boyfriend and his friend.

Though I've spent a considerable amount of time today listeing to Guns n Roses and trying to master Axl's "snake dance"...So much for being a productive memeber of society.

I kind of really want to go to art school...someday.

My shoes came in the mail and they're a size too small.

Surfing in RI tomorrow with the Pops... word.

Swiss crayons are basically incredible.

I stink like resin.

I am a scatterbrain.

stay_siick @ 2006-07-27T07:30:00

2006-07-27T11:53:59Z

I'm still convinced my house is haunted. I awoke the other night to someone in my room saying "Kerry...Hey! Kerry"....Upon rolling over for further investigation and mumbling "whhaaaat?" I observe a shadowy figure, knelt a foot from me at the side of my bed. I jumped, thinking it was either one of my parents or my brother, and was baffled by what the fuck they'd be doing in my room at 2:30 in the morning. Then I screamed because I realized there was a dresser in that spot and no possible way anyone could be kneeling there. Turned on the light, nobody there, called up Avery, and didn't fall asleep for about 2 1/2 hours. I'm not crazy and I wasn't dreaming. This shit happens to me all the time. Under different circumstances I wouldn't even really mind that much, but uhh, ghosts, could you please pick a better time than when I'm trying to fall asleep and have work in the morning to haunt me? Thank you.

One of the Jordans Furniture guys came into my work yesterday, I couldn't tell if he was Barry or Elliot...they look the same to me. He seemed like kind of a dick. It made me laugh.

Waking Life is a wonderful movie.

slut shoes

2006-07-25T16:49:04Z

Aww, wird?

Friday afternoon til Monday Avery and I will be in New York City visiting our dear friend Jon.

These bad-boys should be waiting for me when I return:

Score.

And every time I surf I see butterflies. What business could butterflies possibly have at the beach?

They destroyed a house on my street yesterday and I didn't even notice. Am I really that...god I don't even know....bemused?

irrelevant, seemingly cryptic, pseudo-poetic song lyrics....

2006-07-24T05:00:45Z

Of course I'm not fucking alright.
Stop being such a fucking baby.

I have Aerosmith's "Love in an Elevator" stuck in my head. Soundtrack to my hell? I think so...

I hate my job. But I love it when 50-something year old men think they're clever in asking me if I know I have "something on my lip" chuckle chuckle...No, I'm obviously retarded and don't realize I have a piece of metal sticking through my face/have yet to hear that one...Make sure to mention that to your rebellious 13 year old when you get home tonight, maybe you can attempt to bond over how they better not look like to much of a weirdo and you hope this is just a phase...please god just let it be a phase....

I promise I'm not one of those "Oh look I'm different, Don't you fucking look at me!" folks. I just love to bitch, really I fucking get off on it. Where does my sarcasm end and the truth begin? I really don't even know myself sometimes, to be quite honest.

Judging by the things I write in these ridiculous little blogs, I must sound like the biggest cunt in the world...I'm really just the moodiest person in the world...Sort of. I suppose it works out well because there are plenty of people that don't know me who think I'm a huge asshole. Its funny when people actually talk to me and are suprised that I'm not a bitch. I hear through the grapevine: "Oh wow, shes actually really nice..." Yah, go figure.

I could talk for days about nothing. Its my true calling in life. That and masturbating donkeys.
What?

According to Avery I think out loud too much. He really knows me too well.

New York in t minus 4 days...Maybe?

This is stupid.